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Wednesday, 30 November 2016
THE SAINTS AND THE SINNER PART 4
Thursday, 24 November 2016
THE SAINTS AND THE SINNER PART 3
Wasn't it rather clear now why Elder Matthew refused to pick my calls on Sunday, and yet refused to call back?! He'd sold out! In fact, I called him twice again on my way home after the Campus fellowship gathering; and just before I went to bed that night; yet, he neither picked nor returned his missed calls! Retired cunt! He was a fucking twat, as long as I was concern! I was now just short of regretting ever choosing to help his poor miserable life! I wonder how he would have managed through, if not for me! No job or business; no serious source of livelihood and yet he had all those children to take care of, literally alone! And yea, he also would have had Sis. Peju to train through school! Ingrate! I guess the angel just became the devil here! Probably over just a morsel of bread or so! Or how else would one explain it? He knew how much of an influence I had within the late G.O's house, and thus to see that his daughter remained on scholarship, he tried doing everything to avoid being on my blacklist! But now, the G.O was gone, and to likely remain on the advantage, he's now switched allegiance quickly, to the direction of the newest playing music! Pathetic bastard! Talk of using your fellow man, and dumping!
Okay...I admit I was kinda wrong by engaging in a secret affair with his daughter. But wasn't his daughter old enough to make a decision for herself? And haven't I earned the right to bang the girl given how much of an assist I had become to their family?! The world is such an unfair place, you know! Everyone expects a Pastor to lay down his life and all for his flock, but rarely do this same flock want to help provide solace to the Pastor's personal 'concerns'! Nonsense! I wasn't going to take any of this shit! Yea, I know...I'm fucked at the moment and it's just hard to see any way out of this damn thing as it is! But personal guilt isn't the answer either. I should be better off channelling all that energy to finding that elusive way out than dwell on self blame! If only Elder Matthew could pick his calls! If only he could give me a bit of a little listening ear so that I could come up with some sort of explanation; some sort of deal...or maybe just anything that would get him to at least calm down on his furry! He may not expose my affair with his daughter at the said meeting come the next day, but surely, it will only take a bellend not to imagine that the elderly man would likely do everything in his powers now, to bring me down, given what he's found out! I was in a fucking pot of soup!
Subsequently, for most of that night, I barely got a grip on anything! My head buzzed, while my heart pounded away like some WW2 submachine gun! I couldn't just calm down for a single minute, and my wife noticed! Of course, she would have to, given how so restless I was that night! Was it my constantly shaking hands? Or my tirelessly sweating self despite two active Air Conditioners? What about the endless fondling and tapping of my phone, which kept ending up with me calling no one in particular?! And simply because there was no one I could call to help in that moment really! It was in fact, a mad night! And my wife got really worried as the night drew on! But thankfully, her thought quickly concluded over time, that I was only worried because the meeting was targeted at seeing to my removal as District Pastor! I got to know when she mentioned it to me. And of course, she kept being the 'encouraging wife'; telling me nothing would happen. Thank goodness! Only if she knew what was actually up! Only if she knew that the last person I told 'nothing will happen', had wiped my cum off her belly a few hours ago! Only if she knew! I just wondered what would have been! Such fine margins! And yea, none of those sweet words stopped me from acknowledging that disaster was probably just a short distance away! Oh Laaawdd, have mercy!
*********************
I woke up Tuesday morning feeling basically worse! In fact, I woke up feeling feverish! LOL! What panic! What hyper tension! I couldn't still believe the last two days had happened; with all this news about a secret meeting and Elder Matthew's unexpected switch of allegiance! They still didn't look real, mehn, but the pressure returned as soon as I opened my eyes! I hurriedly picked up my phone once I was off my bed and began dialling the elderly man's number again! This time, it was switched off! Holy heavens! The man was driving me nuts! Fucking switched off?! On the very Tuesday itself?! Hell how?!! I was going to go mad! My head buzzed like a market place, while my body temperature continued to rise! My wife tried intervening at some point, offering to contact one of our local deacons to request that one of them attend the meeting instead of me; while I take some obviously needed rest. But I flatly refused! I mean, that will be fucking worse!! How can I let that?! When none of them even thinks I'm guilty of any of the accusations being thrown at me?! My idea for going myself was to see that I dispute these allegations myself as soon as they are brought up at the meeting! So sending any of the other deacons would only backfire! Gosshhhh, this whole thing was bloody tough! Anyways, I had just recovered my phone from my wife who was already on my Phonebook to place her call, when I suddenly noticed Amarachi's saved contact at the top! Time stopped!
I rubbed a thumb over the screen of my phone. How quickly did I forget about this girl?! The effect of severe hysteria, I guess! Who wouldn't though, in such a crazy time? But gaawwd did I instantly recall that meeting with her as soon as I brought my eyes on the contact! Her gargantuan boobs were my first thoughts, and then her ass! Gaaawwddd! Who wouldn't give a few moments of thoughts to a girl as endowed In fact, mine wasn't even a case of 'giving a few moments', because, as soon as I saw the contact, the urge to give her a call instantly followed! LOL! Talk of sucking lollipops from kitchen knives, right?! Yea, I get all that...a jury that would be practically dethroning me from pastoral duties was just a few hours away from sitting, and yet, here I was still pondering on thoughts of doing the same thing for which I'm being arraigned! I get. But the truth is, someone has to fuck that Amarachi, you know! Certain pussies ain't just supposed to lie waste! Amarachi has a 'disturbingly' amazing body! Okay, maybe not as 'disturbingly' good as Sis. Abigail's, but both are too good to let go! Honestly, I had already gone soooo hard, by the time the phone was fully in my hand! And as my wife turned to return to the kitchen, I hopelessly tapped on the voluptuous Amarachi's saved contact! Yea, it was indeed her own Amarachi! But wait...it wasn't just the contact only...she was on Whatsapp too, guys! Wow! Para-fucking-dise!
Amarachi was on Whatsapp, and how that instantly made me forget that I was supposed to be finding a way out of the big probable embarrassment that was waiting for me a few hours away! In fact, like some enchanted zombie, I picked up my phone, and then went straight for the bathroom! If Queendaline were to in anyway see me on this one, I was more or less a dead man! In there, I quickly sat on the toilet bowl - with the lid closed, and launched my Whatsapp app. She was indeed the one; with the name I had saved her on my phone displayed over her profile! Oh my! And mehn, did her 'Display Picture' literally throw me off the toilet bowl as soon as I saw it!! Ohhhhh mmmyyyyy fucccckiiinggg gaaaaaawwwwddd!! What a swashbuckling bustline!! What a fuckingly huge blasting bustline! Wow! The DP was a Selfie of herself taken from an angle, and gaaawwwddd, did the shot ruthlessly elaborate her massive breasts!! Fuuuccckk!! I was blown away! And I haven't even mentioned how her top was sooooo stretched by her milk factories in the picture, that her rather profound nipples soooo prominently stabbed back into the material of her dress!! The view was fuckingly sexy, and trust me, I found my hand on my boxer fly the next second! I just needed to fuck this girl! Damn! It was just rather obvious! She was simply too 'talented' to be overlooked! In short, while my head was still reassuring me that it was gonna happen, my hand took things to the next level!
"Hello Amarachi..." was the next thing I saw my fingers type and send! I told you, guys, Amarachi was irresistible!
I didn't get a reply, that minute. In short, I had already stood and began making to leave the bathroom, when her response came in!
"Hi..." it said! I was overjoyed! And yea...my cock grew so long that you'd think Amarachi was there with me in person!
"You know who's chatting with you?" I would be surprised if she hadn't known yet. I get that I told her someone was going to call her for follow-up, but mehn, cut all that crap!
"Yes sir. Pastor Danny, right?" she even knew my name was Danny! My cock was on fire!
"Yes dear. How are you?"
"I'm fine sir. I hope you got home safely yesternight?" she was expectedly nice.
"Yes, I did. thanks for asking dear." Mehn, I hoped I could just go straight to the point! I needed that pussy for fuck sake!
Quite the awkward pause followed now, and she remained online all the time! Apparently, she must have told by now that I probably didn't know what else to say. And she kinda tried helping out...
"Yesterday's teaching was great sir..." she went on to send in, suddenly getting me a bit impatient with the new choice of topic! I was sincerely hoping for something more...you know...something string-pulling, at least! Damn!
"Really? Thanks dear!" I replied, adding a smile emoticon to express my rather feigned emotion.
"You are welcome sir. And the general service was also wonderful" she continued, getting me even more edgy.
"Thanks Amara." I responded. But hey, I just had to cut the bull loose here! "Lovely DP dear. You look beautiful." I quickly followed up, making sure I gave her no room to continue with all the boring 'church talk'!
But then...it did instantly seem like I had gone a step too far now, because, for like what looked like a century, Amarachi didn't reply the compliment! In fact, she went offline, just as soon! Goddammmmnit!!!
For a good 5 or so minutes I regretted ever coming on Whatsapp that morning, and it did immediately look like my fever had also shot up triple temperature! What the fuck did I just do?! It was very unusual of me, really! I mean, any girl I ever considered approaching was usually 99% of the times, likely open to the ideas of us fucking, even if they initially play 'hard to get'! But here, was I being totally ignored! What a day this very Tuesday was rapidly becoming! And of course, I couldn't even be too sure the Amarachi girl wouldn't take the whole thing as 'immodest' from me, of which if she was to tell it to anybody else in that guise, could be another opening to a rapidly worsening wound! I thought of sending her another text note and apologizing if I had come across as offensive! But I ruled against it, in the mindset that doing such would only strengthen the argument that I was indeed sensually interested in her! So instead, I chose to simply forget about her entirely. In fact, I actually even stood from the bowl, with the intentions of leaving the bathroom all the same! But just then, a message popped in! And when I checked, it was her!
"Thank you sir!" she messaged, adding a smiling emoticon even! But that wasn't all, Amarachi went on to follow the message with over 6 fresh pictures of her! "I took all these the same day." she explained at the end! I grinned ravenously!
Now if her DP was a very tasty plate of Afang soup, then the series of pictures she just sent in, were a pot of fish-filled deliciously garnished Edikang Ikong; with a ruthless looking plate of Pounded Yam to the side! What manipulation! My dick went back to its full state of active service! Damn! I was blown away! And trust me, it only became 'worse' as I began going through the pictures one after the other! Who said there wasn't something 'selective' about them?! Damn, they were mind-blowing! Boobs, ass and more boobs! Amarachi was 'gifted'! She was irresistibly 'talented'! Each of the pictures either placed all the emphasis on her rumbling jugs, with angles of shot leading to very wicked outcomes! Or placed emphasis on her buttocks which were, gooooshhhh, frankly colossal! My prick was out of my shorts before I could get to the fourth picture, with my left hand wanking away in desperate pleasuring! The views were sooooo hard to bear, mehn!
"I hope I don't look ugly in them sir?" she suddenly asked again, putting a 'covered-face' emoticon to the side!
Fuck no!! You don't baby! I wished to say, but I quickly changed that, instead saying: "Not really dear. You actually look a bit like my wife." Now, how that last sentence happened, I can't say! I just lost it right there, I know!
"Really?!!" she then typed, sending in a load of blushes too!
"Yes dear." I responded, wishing I could just come out now and tell her that I wanted us to fuck! Gaaawwwddd, I was dying in lust!!
"Hahahahahaha...was that why you were watching me yesterday?" she just threw me off the fucking window!! Watching her?!! She fucking noticed?!!
My hand paused! They couldn't type again! I mean, forget the 'watching me' she used! Because, every man and his dog knows she was likely almost about to use 'watching my boobs' and probably only changed her mind for sake of decency! But fuck yea, please use boobs, baby!
"Are you there sir?" she asked again...I didn't know I had delayed that much!
"Yes dear. You really look like my wife." I repeated, totally void of what else I was supposed to say now! Fuck knows that she doesn't and she's also far more endowed than Queendaline - at least bust-wise, but hey, I needed to keep this fuckingly arousing conversation going!
"I'd like to meet her sir." she then popped in. Fuck no! Queendaline will serve me my balls on a plate if it ever happened!
"That will be great...." I replied, feigning excitement, but I also did instantly feel that this was the best time to hit the nail's head! "Can we meet up this evening? Just me and you? I think I'd like to see you again." My hands practically shook as I typed this part, while praying I don't get a no! But gaaawwddd, did I now want that pussy of hers more than ever before!
A pause from her followed!
While, I watched on as she kept transiting from 'typing' to 'online' now and again! She was probably not sure yet.
"I will be leaving for Owerri this Afternoon sir. That's where I'm on IT. Benin first, then Owerri later." I didn't expect this. So I was a bit disappointed. Although, I also felt relieved she didn't say a direct no all the same.
"So I'm not seeing you again dear?!" I seriously had to ask, already wondering in my head if there was a way I could make it to Owerri by evening of that very day, and be back by 'morrow afternoon! Desperation!
"You will sir. I just don't know when yet." well, that was kinda sweetly bitter! I gave off a huge sigh of relief, though!
"But it will be very soon, right?" I was already licking my lips; with thoughts of what I would do to those boobs, bringing blubs of precum to the tip of my cock! Fuuuck!!
"Yes, it will sir." she was sooo nice a girl! Of course, any day she picks has to just work for me come what may, mehn!!
I sent her a smile! "We will be alone?" I just had to be sure on this one too, guys!
"Yes sir. Alone!" she then responded; with the additional exclamation mark she put there driving me insane! And hey, she also immediately sent in a blush smiley! She fucking knew where I was going! She fucking knew what I was talking about!
"Your boobs are soooo huge baby!" I couldn't help but send this at this point! My cock would have fucked the living daylight out of her that instant, if she was there with me at that point!
She laughed sooooo hard - via emoticons - on seeing my last text-note! Then she said it again: "That's why you kept staring at them yesterday, abi?" she didn't mince words this time!
"Yes babe!" I was wanking my cock much harder now as I imagined her typing those words! Fuuuuucccckk!!
Then the best of all happened! An image unexpectedly popped in and began downloading at once! As soon as it was done, a new message followed underneath! "For your delight...while you wait!"
Ladies and gentlemen, when I checked the picture, it was actually a Selfie of her naked self! I nearly went mad
"Talk later Pastor Danny! G2G now." was her final words, as she disappeared offline! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkk!!!
I wanked my cock for a resounding 11 minutes more, as I drank up the stupefying sway of the girl's voluptuous body! My cumming was quick when it happened, and very hard! And I even repeatedly jerked in orgasmic spasm a number of times, as my hot goo shot high into my chest in sensual impulse! This was just too fucking good to take, for heaven's sake!
"I must fuck Amarachi!..." were the only words that kept ringing in my head as I prepared to leave the bathroom closet! Gawwwd, I just had to do it! Those boobs! Those hooters which just kept seeming larger every time I saw them! They were just too fucking huge! And I couldn't just see myself letting them go without a fight! Yea I get, there was a lot of pressure! A lot of risks! With my enemies just a few minutes away from sitting over my case and all! I knew all that. And I was also aware of how much dangerous indulging in more sex at this point, had become! But mehhhhnnnnn, how was I supposed to just let this girl...or even Sis. Abigail go? Who would even do so? I mean, these girls had become virtually the only things I thought about! Any 'failure' now, was very much gonna hunt me for the rest of my life! Any 'failure' to at least take advantage of this particular window Amarachi herself had apparently created in her case. It was necessary I keyed into this opportunity as not doing so would be stupid! In short, it was going to be madness, trying to pull back at this stage!
But was I ignoring the risks? No. I was in the tightest of spaces, yea...but I could still give it a go! I could; as long as I did find a way of having both sides! Yes, I was admittedly confused for want of a decision. But if only I could answer the big question! If only I could develop a plan! A plan on how I would handle all these without fucking things up! A plan on how I would combine all these and still come out unscathed! If only I could fuck this Amarachi girl, and still, fuck Sis. Abigail, while also putting my enemies in their place! That would be the 'bestest' gift of my life! But wasn't that only going to be possible in my dreams? Because, frankly, it would be so so difficult to do, wouldn't it? And hey...I haven't even mentioned my wife, Queendaline; who as always was also conducting her own personal hunt for my head! In fact, as I stepped out of the bathroom, I actually stumbled into her!
"Honey, you spent rather too much time in there..." she characteristically observed, as she walked past me in obvious mockery!
"You know I'm having a bad day woman, don't you?" I assertively challenged, carefully hiding my phone in the course!
Bloody trouble, everywhere! Bloody trouble!!
*********************
Right from the moment my driver drove the car into the late G.O's compound, it instantly began looking like I had put a very long spanner into my enemies' secret work! Apparent confusion broke out! There were literally shocked faces, who couldn't believe their eyes, and then murmuring mouths, that were probably asking each other who leaked the knowledge of the secret meeting, to me! They just couldn't believe who they were seeing! But I barely gave a fuck! I kept a straight face, and walked straight into the main house! The same house where I was mostly bred and chosen to be a Resident Pastor! It was now so cruel for anyone, to go and pick the same venue for my dethronement without involving me! Who knows, maybe the spirit of our late G.O was at work! I was probably never going to be put to shame as long as he was concerned - dead or alive! And as I walked through the large entrance lobby into the very large living room where I could tell the meeting was about to start, only memories of my growing up, kept flashing into my mind!
Funny enough, most of the people I met in there, were all people I had mostly known over the years! I was much more younger than them, but yet, I had at some point in the past been very close friends with them. Now, we were enemies, with the odium between both camps, of very sour proportions! A number of them walked over to my end, to greet me, rather to my surprise! And they quite acted very normal, contrary to what I had expected! But there were still some who only threw just a few glances at me from their seats without exactly giving me any further recognition! Fair to say, the battle line had been drawn! And any loser at this point, would come out badly battered! I couldn't still find Elder Mathew yet, so I had to assume he hadn't arrived the venue. But I found the rest of the men who used to constitute the council of deacons at my district church (but have now left for other districts because of me), present! They were there; further strengthening the claim that the meeting was simply all about me! How unfortunate! And of course, none of them came over to exchange pleasantries! How times have changed!
After sitting for a few minutes, I decided to go say hello to the late G.O's wife who I was certain should be home. It was only going to be unfair to visit their house and leave without putting in a word, even if she's not been made part of the meeting. And yes, she was home, as thought. I met her upstairs in her bedroom. Of course, I was still one of the very fewest people who were allowed in there, simply because of who I was to the family. But hey, she wasn't the only one I found though, because right inside the same room, I met Cindy too! Wow! It wasn't entirely expected and she nearly screamed down the house when she saw me! She's never going to change, you know!
"I wasn't expecting you at allllllll...." she reemphasized, dropping herself from my body after raising herself to hug me! She was grinning as always!
"Yea, nobody is, really." I replied, and of course, without failing to notice how her boobs had pressed into my chest when she embraced me! Well, this wasn't time for silly thoughts, I guess!
I went over to her mum to give her a brief embrace too, as she kept laughing where she was seated. They were so happy to see me after quite some time it had been since I was last there. I was really tempted to ask them if they knew what the proposed meeting was all about, but then, assumed they didn't, given the type of reception I had gotten from them!
Anyways, Cindy did follow me out of her mum's bedroom as I walked out, and we had barely gone five steps away from the door when she suddenly grabbed me by my crotch!
"You are sooo definitely fucking me today, Pastor Danny..." she whispered, smiling and looking over her shoulders as though to make sure her mum wasn't following us! Her hand hurt a little, though!
"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow! I even nearly asked her how that was possible when the meeting about to be held downstairs, was about me fucking a lot of girls within the church; but I didn't! "We can't do so today nau Cindy..."
"Why? You are gradually pushing me away because of your wife...hope you know?" she feigned a frown, releasing my crotch in the course.
"Not that..." I whispered closer to her ears, "All these men here, will definitely find out if we do something babe...."
"They won't..." she was making to grab my cock again, but we suddenly began hearing footsteps of people coming upstairs...so we parted ways immediately!
However, what I didn't know until later, was that Cindy, and a certain friend of hers - Sis. Tosin (who I hadn't met before, until that day), were to be responsible for ushering duties throughout the course of the meeting! They were going to be required to run errands, serve Kola, drinks, table water and finally food! It was only after when the meeting had started, that I got to find this out, and my, did I quite feel the tickle as both of them walked into the living room in rather tight-fitting mini-skirts; and of course, under equally boob-gripping tops! Damn! Trust me, a number of these so-called saints who were already seated for the meeting, immediately began making quite the grim face as soon as they set eyes on both girls! LOL! Hypocritical bastards! More like a way of showing and reminding us by how much they despise 'indecency'! Cunts! How quite paradoxical it now seemed that a meeting which was supposedly organized against my many romps with women, was now going to have said women, dutifully keeping us company, in all their supposed 'indecency'! Well, you can be rest assured of such situations in whatever Cindy was directly involved in! Her sexuality has always been irrepressible! And boy, for most of the preceding moments of the meeting, I barely concentrated! I was regularly pulled to either her slightly bouncy jugs or her friend's walking backside! It was quite the battle for a couple of minutes!
Nonetheless, I did manage to gain more control as the meeting finally kicked-off! Elder Matthew had now finally arrived, as well as the Acting General Overseer. The two actually walked in together! Something I was now not very surprised about. When the former saw me, he quite did show some shock! Apparently, he never thought I was going to be there, and it did take a long time, before he would look my way again! Quite the spoiler, I must have become, I guess! Anyways, the meeting took off after quite a lengthy prayer. With everybody raising their voices as though to tell the man next to him that he prays better than everyone else! LOL! It was indeed funny, and I had my own eyes more open than I actually prayed. All the same, after the prayer, came the voice of the Acting G.O. He personally hadn't behaved like he cared about my presence so far.
"I want to thank everyone for honouring this summon..." he said for the 100th time, in his characteristically sluggish and rather annoying voice! "It is a very important call; one which I feel the lord does require us to make now..."
Everybody looked on in sheer attentiveness! Including Cindy and her friend Sis. Tosin.
"You all must have received my text messages." the A.G.O continued, looking from side to side, "I purposely left out all District Resident Pastors and most of our state and zonal leaders. I also left out the women..."
At this point, I had to look around, and yea, I was indeed the only resident pastor present! What. The. Fuck?! Not even the heads of departments or units were called upon! What was really going on? Was there another agenda I didn't know about? At least, given my own Elder Gideon's status as the State Marriage Supervisory Council Leader, himself and other people like him, were supposed to be invited to a meeting of this magnitude; no?!
The A.G.O kept talking, though. "There was no need to bring in so many people...because no man stays a judge over his own case. The demand for action and mobility has just become overwhelming! The request for full scale overhaul and restructuring, has been nearly irrepressible! The church is apparently crying for change; mobility; action..."
I began thinking now that I was seeing something I hadn't seen all these while! The A.G.O has an agenda, most apparently!
"...and I cannot pretend not to see and hear all these, while I continue this expectedly brief spell as the Acting G.O. I'm having the burden to do something. I'm having the burden to at least give the congregation the benefit of the doubt, and go and try to make things a bit better!..."
Everyone nodded their heads as though to say it was some kind of President Obama speaking! The attentiveness level was out of this world!
"There has been complaints of gross immorality..." he resumed, causing my heart to skip as soon as he mentioned, 'gross immorality'! "Rumours of ear-deafening scandals, across a few districts! Things we ought not to hear in the house of the lord! And we can't just keep looking and doing nothing! That is why this meeting has been called up. And I did so without involving the district pastors and leaders, because they cannot be judges in their own cases..."
Trust me, a number of faces turned to look at me briefly at this point, and for the first time since I arrived, I started feeling like I shouldn't have attended at all! I mean, I was already passing judgment on myself by being there! If I wasn't feeling guilty - the question will be - why was I then there?
"By the way..." the A.G.O continued, "Myself and the National Leadership Council have agreed to shuffle things a little bit across the National and State levels." this very line brought me even more unease! "Although we are mainly sticking to just Departments and Unit leadership." respite followed! "We can all agree that our Daddy, the late G.O, did make a lot of rushed decisions during his final days on earth. This included putting certain persons which we have seen now, as ineffective, in office. It is our aim to replace those people with the brief reshuffle..."
This was really serious! And I just couldn't help but begin wishing in my heart that none of my own persons would be affected!
"But the reshuffle is only just a little part of what I hope we can do with all of you gathered here. Our church needs to be resurrected, and that is why I have called us all together! So I'd want everyone here to come up with a suggestion of what we can do about this matter. This is beyond reshuffling a few offices or positions! This is pretty bigger than that! What do we do, brethren?..."
Well, grave silence followed! Probably; just probably, nobody was expecting something of this magnitude by any stretch of the imagination! But here we were! And to come to now see that the meeting wasn't even about me or in fact, far bigger than me, only made it even more disturbing! I mean, the entire church was in trouble! Myself included! So, if I thought just Elder Matthew and a couple of other mean deacons were the enemies I was fighting, now imagine what I'd face when all the over 45 people gathered at that living room, were to begin looking into my case! I'd be crushed before the first day was over! In fact, I couldn't agree any less, when the first person who asked to speak, began talking! He was from another district actually, but a supporter of the 'just cause' nonetheless!
"The lord will bless you sir for being the answer to a prayer I've been praying for so long..." he began saying after compliments! Gaaawwdd, I was screwed! "Evil, is finally about to see its end! And light will shine forth soon!"
Everybody around seemed to agree as they kept nodding their heads!
He continued. "My suggestion, is massive clearout!! Massive clearout!!..." the way he waved his hand showed he would even begin the 'massive clearout' right about then, if it was in his powers to do so! "Let us remove all the leaders in the church from their positions, because they have failed us! Excluding your position of course sir..."
Everybody in the hall nearly burst out laughing! His quick move to cleverly exempt the A.G.O was indeed hilarious.
"I mean it brethren..." he defended further, as though to say he noticed we were all very amused by his suggestion, "We need to start afresh, and for that to happen, we need massive clearout! Thank you!" he sat down!
Tiny whispers of 'massive clearout' began filling the room! The old boy was really funny! But boy, did I tell how so angry these dudes were!!
"We've heard you Elder Kunle. Next person please..." the A.G.O proceeded.
The next person didn't exactly say any much different! He dwelt more on seeking the face of the lord in this very 'trying times', though. But he generally was big on a resounding reshuffling, while consciously avoiding the use of the word 'massive clearout' even though he meant the exact same thing! He spoke a bit longer too, but soon sat. And so followed the next, and the next, and the next, until most people in the room had all spoken! One thing kept becoming apparent - everybody was fed up with the existing status-quo! They all wanted colossal change! Anyways, quite a twist got into the whole equation a bit later, when Elder Matthew stood up to speak; a twist that inevitably involved me! Even as soon as he stood, I did feel very worried, despite already accepting that the meeting wasn't exactly about me! What is this thing they say about toothless old women getting uncomfortable in discussions that relate to chewing meat? Couldn't be any better explained, I guess!
"I want to say something quite a bit off the current proceedings..." Elder Matthew said as soon as he was done with all the preliminary talk, "I was told personally, that I was involved in this meeting, solely because of my perceived neutrality in the matter that relates to how our leaders have been perceived of late. That perception, is largely true.
"Back in my district church, we have been immersed in this long-going battle between a certain percentage of the church and the current district leadership, of which the figure head, is present with us here..." he pointed at me just then, inevitably brining everyone's attention my way, "The battle has been soooo fierce, with both groups looking to literally extinguish the other from the church entirely, if possible. That approach really, has been the sole reason for my choosing to remain neutral in all of it. Has there been sincere calls across the nation for change in our ministry? Yes there has been. Are these calls born out of a genuine need for said change? Of course. But are the suggestions heard so far going to likely bring the change?..." he didn't answer, instead he paused, pulled out his handkerchief, and wiped his slightly sweaty face dry; and thus, propping up the suspense even more.
We all kept watching, wondering where he was going with all this.
"I will personally suggest that a full scale investigation be carried out first. Make it a month, two months or as long as we can wait for it! The full scale investigation should be wide-reaching; cutting across all the Zones and States; and of course Districts..." Strong mumblings could already be heard - in supposed dissent, I guess! The A.G.O had to call for returned patience at some point.
I personally didn't know whether to find the suggestion beneficial or not, given that whoever's we were to work with, might still turn out damaging for my position!
Elder Matthew spoke on after the little pause, "The purpose of the investigation, is to find out all those behind the current moral collapse the church is kind of witnessing right now. I come from a district where carnality and sexual immorality has more than tripled within just barely 2 years! And it isn't any coincidence that it suddenly began as soon as the current District Leadership took over..."
Expectedly, I cussed him in my breath as soon as he said these! He was a fucking tool! And boy, you all need to see how many eyes that turned towards me for a moment or two just then! My heart was red in rage!
"...It isn't coincidence!" he still repeated, without an iota of fear! "But I am not about placing baseless allegations without evidence! Let there be an investigation, and trust me, once our scrutiny finds this man guilty, I will be the first to see that he is punished according to the scriptures!..."
I sincerely wanted to speak now, but I restrained myself with all my might! It couldn't be argued that he was being fair with both camps! But isn't friendship and loyalty, supposed to be 'against all odds' or better put 'at any costs'? I was soooo gonna have a word with him very soon!
"That is my position, brethren." he went on to say, conclusively, "And I am not talking of us waiting several weeks to punish defaulters. No! Once our investigation finds someone guilty, he or she should be removed from office right away without delay; while the rest of the person's due punishment is meted later. Thank you and godbless!" He sat, amid resumed murmurings. It did look like his suggestion had only divided opinions than it brought together!
However, the A.G.O did choose to come into the picture just then; probably in a bid to see that this chapter of the meeting is brought to a close sooner rather than later. What I didn't see coming though, was his rather questionable faith in virtually everything Elder Matthew had said, without exactly attempting to weigh up the feasibility of the elderly man's suggestion! He basically threw every other person's opinions out of the window!
"We have to do exactly this!" he averred, looking everyone in the face. "We just have to do as he had suggested! Full scale investigation, with everyone found guilty immediately removed from office! I don't want any other debates over this suggestion..." he then added, on seeing a number hands being raised in supposed opposition!
In fact, the meeting immediately moved on to appointing men who would be part of the 'full scale investigation'! A total of 30 men, were selected across the 9 Zones of the church! With each given a defined role on what to do! This did not come without its arguments and opposition, with a number of the people selected preferring some other role over the ones they were given! Absolute drama! And of course, you guessed it right...I was not even considered! In fact, I wasn't even treated at any point, like someone who was part of the gathering! LOL! I was definitely wrong to have attended! However, what really turned on the heat on me by an additional 2500⁰C, was when Elder Matthew was surprisingly appointed Head of the newly constituted Investigative Committee! I felt like dying! In short, as though his earlier comments wasn't indicative enough, in his follow-up inaugural remark, he repeated himself on how he would do everything possible to punish whichever persons that end up culpable as proven by their upcoming investigation! And guess what, he even directly mentioned that he was aware how helpful his own resident pastor (which is me of course) has been to his family, but that he would rather forfeit that goodwill between his family and anyone at all, if it would impede his services to the lord! Now, does anyone else see Sis. Peju's revelations from yesterday, playing out?
There was something sooooo out of place about the whole thing at this point; or so it seemed! I couldn't help but have the feeling that the A.G.O and Elder Matthew were into this rather unholy union! I saw the two of them arrive together, then the former went on to accept the later's suggestion without argument; and now, the later has suddenly been made the head of an investigative committee, by the former! It was hard to see things as very routine at this point! And even as the meeting progressed to other things, I couldn't stop feeling entirely subdued, defeated and worst of all, found out! My backbone was badly battered, with basically the only friend I still had among the brood of vipers, now kind of leading the crusade against my throne! I couldn't just see any new paths from here! And I haven't even mentioned what possible outcomes that might come with the upcoming investigations! Would they ask questions? Would they conduct interrogations? Those might be very tricky. Yea, I know all the women I've taken to bed so far in church, would rather not say anything about it, but what if there is real pressure to confess these dark deeds?! What if there are other evidences I don't exactly know about? How would I get through?
These thoughts never left my mind until the meeting was over! Of course, other short discussions like the church's general welfare and financial status were also held before everyone was eventually dismissed. The day was already really far spent, kind of, but anyone could still comfortably make it back to the Mainland by that time of the night if he wanted. And as expected, a lot of persons were already getting into their cars to leave within minutes. Only just a handful showed signs that they would likely either sleep over right there at the meeting venue, or use one of the nearby hotels. As for me, I had intentions of returning back to Ogba, to at least begin action on all the information I had gotten from the meeting. Maybe, just maybe, my coming hadn't been in vain as I could now know what exactly I was facing and fighting! Who would have known Eder Mathew would be heading an investigation into matters that surely relate to me? So I needed to get back home soon so that I could converge the rest of the deacons for a comprehensive decision on what to do. However, I had just asked the driver to start the car after going upstairs to bid farewell to Mummy, when Cindy suddenly appeared from nowhere to grab my hand! Nowhere because, towards the last 60 minutes or so of the meeting, herself and her friend Sis. Tosin, inexplicably disappeared from the living room! And I didn't see them again until this very moment!
In fact, it was now uncharacteristically left for the housegirls in the big building; who were of course in abundance as always; to begin seeing guests out after the meeting was over! And while this was going on, Cindy pulled me by the hand, into the second living room which had already been emptied of guests.
"Wait here please, there is something I would want to show you before you leave." she pleaded, making me seat, while turning to leave immediately! And although my eyes inevitably went straight to her swaying ass as she walked away, I for once, saw myself move them away entirely! The effect of being in a very precarious situation, I assume!
Yea, that was the truth. Honestly, I've never been as so moved by all the news and talk about 'evidence' as I had been moved this very day! These guys were for real, and if there was anything this meeting thought me, it was that they were equally extremely ruthless with their aim! For the love of me, I sincerely cherished my position as Resident Pastor; I dearly did! And it was only going to be crushingly disappointing - not just to myself, but to my wife (who I admit I wouldn't be able to take care of without the church), and then, the late G.O (who placed a lot of faith in me, when he appointed me a District Pastor, despite my young age), if this position got taken away, for some very scandalous reasons! It was going to be cruel to these people if I got found out; simply put!
Anyways, I did spend something close to 20 or 30 minutes on that seat in the second living room, before Cindy could reappear again. She'd actually gone in to change cloths, and was now wearing a body-fitting gown, which I didn't fail to notice was kinda short! She was all smiles as she stepped in, stopping at the door and stretching a hand as though to ask me to grab her. I stood and began walking up to her, but I was yet to reach her before she then turned around and began walking ahead of me.
"Come with me Pastor..." she then demanded, walking away.
"What do you want me to see?" I had to ask, as I found my eyes going straight for her slightly bouncing backside again! Before consciously looking away!
"Just follow me." she persisted, crossing the hall way, and heading straight into the private lobby where the two bedrooms downstairs are located.
I wanted to halt now, but somehow kept following her. I noticed how the house had become largely empty with basically almost everybody gone. Although, I still could hear a number of voices upstairs, which I assumed likely belonged to people who had chosen to sleep over in the big house.
Nevertheless, I did immediately stop as soon as I saw Cindy grab one of the bedroom doors and began to unlock it! As she did, she looked at me repeatedly, smiling!
"Come on, Cindy!" I broke out, in a hush tone! "I thought we had talked about this earlier? We can't do this here..."
"I don't know what you are talking about Pastor Danny..." she replied, still grinning without hindrance!
"We can't Cindy, please! We just can't!" I insisted, while already dragging my feet backwards! "In fact, we can't continue with this life, ok?...I will get caught..." For the first time in a very long time, I was saying no to free sex! Unbelievable!
"Danny?!!" she then suddenly almost screamed, raising her eye brows so high! "I said I just wanted to show you something!" she then began smiling once more!
I sighed. And then walked up to her again, as she finally unlocked the door!
When the door eventually opened, lo and behold, it was Sis. Tosin who I saw in there, sitting on a bed with both knees raised, naked, and facing the door! Oh god of mercy! I froze
"Now tell me you wouldn't want to fuck us both; right here, right now; in a very steamy threesome?..." Cindy chimed into my ears from behind, while crossing a hand to grab the new bulge that had already begun growing in front of my trousers! This was cruel!
I remained rooted to the ground, with my eyes alternating between Sis. Tosin's ample breasts, and the triangle between her spread thighs! What have I done to be so unlucky with choices! I mean, I had just witnessed what anyone can call sheer extravagant grace an hour or so hours ago, without which, probably, the meeting I attended would have spelled the end of me as a district pastor! And yet, just when I had taken that bold decision not to ever return to this paths again, here I was being basically seduced, by what would have to be potentially the best sexual experience I would ever have! Why was I sooooo fucked!
I didn't notice that Cindy had even undressed, until she suddenly walked in-between myself and Sis. Tosin!
"The door is now locked Pastor..." she then informed, pulling me by my shirt towards the bed! "Punish the two of us like the very spoilt girls we are!"
I turned my head to look at her, with the sudden beads of perspiration on my face, nearly running into my eyes!
"And yea..." she still added, "I already told your driver that you said you're spending the night here! I've given him a place to sleep too! You can thank me later..." she smiled in the most devilish way possible!
I still didn't stop staring into her eyes, without still saying a word! And then it happened! She grabbed the buckle of my belt and began to undo my trousers! Sis. Tosin, who had been evidently shy so far also rose into a kneeling position on the bed, and began to unbutton my shirt! I looked completely powerless as I watched them undress me! When Cindy was done pulling down both my trousers and boxer, she swallowed my erect cock with her mouth! I flinched!
"Kiss me pastor..." Sis Tosin then whispered surprisingly as I reopened my eyes! Her very full lips were already as close to my mouth as possible!
I obliged, and without any hesitation planted my slightly moist lips into hers! She hummed in delight, while her palm brooded over my chest in sheer appreciation of my athletic frame! Her lips tasted nice; maybe as a result of her 'raspberric' lipstick; and it wasn't boring at all engaging her mouth as passionately as we did! Meanwhile, Cindy kept doing a very good job with sucking and working my tool from base to tip, while fondling and engaging my saggy sack simultaneously! She's always been a hell of a dick sucker! A skill I was yet to see anybody else match her in! As she sucked, she moaned and hummed on the cock! And she made sure she made the experience as wet and sticky as it could get; smearing my entire crotch and her lower face in sticky sexy saliva!
"You'll never taste different Pastor..." she did admit at a point, lifting my huge ball-sack and placing it over her nose while my big pipe covered her eyes! "...And you'll never smell different too!"
Trust me, those were sexy to hear! And by the time she would return the tip of my cock back into her mouth, I was already grabbing her by the hand to stand, so that I could penetrate her! The feeling was fuckingly insane!
She agreed; but not without stunning me downright! Because, just after she had stood to her feet, and was about to turn, Sis. Tosin grabbed her by the face and unexpectedly perched her lips on hers! They both thus engaged in some very voracious kissing which left my throat rather dry! Fuuuccckk!! I knew Cindy was a hell of a sex maniac! But little did I know she's gone into girls too! So, basically, both herself and Sis. Tosin were lesbian lovers; or bi-sexual, if you like! And both are also high ranking Ushers in the Head Quarter Church! Fucking awesome! Well, by the time they would disengage from their kiss, multiple threads of their saliva couldn't help but connect both their lips as they took fresh positions in anticipation of my coming dick! I was now hard beyond words! And need I now explain further that the last thing on my mind was the thought of being caught! Or the thought of the investigation that would be coming soon! Or the thought of what could happen if all these secret sex and escapades became exposed sometime later! I am actually the last man to want to think this kind of things when there is good slippery pussy before me! More so, when it isn't even one; but two! Two fucking pussies; free and waiting to be collected! Golden fuck! And guess what, as though I wasn't yet motivated enough, I had barely knelt on the bed under me in readiness to insert my eager phallus into Cindy's waiting vagina, when a text message unexpectedly popped into my phone! Ah! When I checked, guess who? Sis. Abigail!
"Good evening Pastor. Please I really need ur help sir! Can I come & see you tomorrow at ur office? I am desperate." her message read!
Desperate? Oh fucking gods of fucking fortune!! Sis. Abigail?! Now needs my help?! Who would have thought that?!! I mean, who would have thought that we would be in a position where we'd both need something from each other?! Or how else would it work out if not that way? Why would I want to help her if she wouldn't give me what I want?! Of course, fuck yea...I'd help her if she'd help me too! It was a no-brainer really! And quite the deal awaited me the next day! I didn't expect it this cheaply, though! Fucking pearls!!!
In fact, with this news, my motivation kinda got multiplied by 10! And with the greatest ever drive ever known to man, I spread Cindy's bent ass cheeks apart, and with little ado, plunged my steel-hard cock, into her glutinous pussy! She nearly screamed my name loud in utter gust! And even Sis. Tosin hissed from sheer spectacle, as my cock got completely buried inside her friend's glory hole!
"Ohhhhhh....mmmmyyy...ggagagagagaahhah...." Cindy went on to stutter, as I began attempting to pull out my cock a bit, thus stretching her vagina opening beyond explanation!
Sis. Tosin had to begin spitting into the crack of her friend's ass, to get the area as sufficiently lubricated as possible!
"You are soooo big...Pastor!" Sis. Tosin then admitted, raising her almond eyes to look into my face! "She'd told me this before, and I swore I must fuck you!"
Now, that was one of the craziest things I'd ever heard a church girl say to me! And gosh, how beyond-the-moon, that further drove me! Mind, since after I read Sis. Abigail's text message, only thoughts of her and what I could likely do with her come the next day, were quite what occupied my mind! So, Sis. Tosin's compliment, did only push me further to the brink! My dick was already gaining some momentum in its continuous movement in and out of Cindy's pussy by then! And when my eyes returned to the bent girl's raised ass, I couldn't help but fantasize further, that it was actually Sis. Abigail's mammoth buttocks, that was sticking up in the air like that while I fucked away her pussy! Oh gaaawwwd! The feeling was just immense, and I only kept increasing in intensity!
Cindy who had tried keeping things quiet and low, did lose the plot at some point as I guess the overwhelming feeling of being split into two by my rock-hard willie, couldn't just allow her keep her mouth shut! From initially humming in ecstasy, she inevitably switched to audible moans, with pleas to be fucked even harder, punctuating her piercing voice! Holy Molly! How enthused was I! Even Sis. Tosin did really appreciate the heat of the moment! She had been squeezing Cindy's boobs for quite some time now, and as her fucked friend moved from humming to moaning, she subconsciously, spread her thighs, and began rubbing her glistening pussy rather ferociously! It was crazy hot! Both in view and in experience! Sincerely nobody would see Sis. Tosin's pussy, with all its puffiness, without making any effort to fuck it! And boy, did it do same to me! Coincidentally, I had done a number of strokes into Cindy's dripping hole at this time, and it was in her attempt to begin retuning my thrusts, that her first orgasm eventually hit her! And it did so really hard, with her thighs and raised bum forced into a series of squirms and wriggles, while her lovebox poured forth even more nectar! Just wow!
Meanwhile, that was when I pulled out, with my interest now switched to attacking her waiting friend's rather swollen black pie! She did notice she was next, and began to spread her legs in anticipation! But I had other ideas! I got in-between her spread thighs quite alright, after nudging a still-shaking Cindy, to the side. But instead of penetrating her, I went straight for her face with my totem pole swaying in all its glory! She was smart enough, and adjusted to plan! She even began opening her mouth before my super wet cock could come within an inch of her face! And my, when it did, did her mouth feel like bliss! It was warm, at the same time soothing! And as she began lapping up all the sweet cream her girlfriend had deposited on my stiff johnny, I couldn't help but rub my chest in satisfaction! She was damn good a cock sucker, and her skill extended down to how she wraps her hand around the base of the dick She would screw the long thing in one way, while her stuffed mouth kept turning it the other way! What pleasure! I just couldn't help but begin sighing and grunting, as my dickhead repeatedly pulsated inside her moist mouth!
When it became apparent that I'd gotten serviced enough, I pulled away from her, amidst several strings of the lady's sticky saliva! She did instantly tell that the real thing was next and began returning to her previous position with her thighs already getting more spread than before! Fuck, was she damn sexy in this position! Her boobs were sat atop her chest, heaving like two moving mountains, while I also didn't fail to notice her rather sizable clit which was intricately part of the start of her puffy pussy! Sis. Tosin was very sexy; and was of course a girl I would definitely love to fuck again, no doubt! By the time I would be set to penetrate her, Cindy had regained her poise, and had even returned her mouth to her friend's lips, thus initiating a new round of very mouthy french kisses! They looked like two innocent angels with the way they sucked and munched on their luscious tender lips! And I couldn't help but drool at the sight of it as I began leading my way into Sis. Tosin's equally moist punani! However, I had only just attempted pushing my cockhead in, when I realized that the lady was as tight as two giant rocks, unforgivably squashed together! She hissed, before I could even get my tip in!
"Fuck..." I muttered helplessly, as I pulled out in order to apply more lubrication to my cockhead in the form of extra saliva!
But even after doing so, and on a second attempt back in, I still couldn't even get the full head to get in! Sis. Tosin was bloody tight, mehn! And boy, did it frustrate! She kept spreading her thighs as much as she could, while I made attempts after attempts to get in, but barely succeeded! It wasn't until Cindy noticed my dilemma, that I got some respite! She pulled away from her girlfriend, and then quickly moved her body towards me! And as soon as she was within inches, she took my cock in her mouth for a second time that night! She probably wanted to get me as moist as was needed, because she didn't fail to leave my cock literally drooling in her saliva, by the time she'd let go! And as soon she had me ready, she instantly switched to her friend's snatch! My! I was being repeatedly blown-away! My heart beat faster, while my bristle-hard phallus, swayed around in splitting arousal as I watched Cindy begin to eat out her girlfriend's pussy right before my eyes! In fact, as though they were never doing enough, I saw Sis. Tosin pull onto Cindy's thighs rather desperately; and in split second, both of them were soon engaged in a blinding 69! I melted!
Oh bloooodddyyy ffuuuucccckkkk!! These girls were more than driving me crazy! I was fucking blown to tatters here, guuuuyssss!! I watched them begin to pull and chew away at their soaked clits and pussy lips! Oh my gaawwd! That was extremely hot, and it didn't take long before moist sounds from their eager passionate suckling, filled the heated room! I had my hand on my cock without knowing, and I began jerking away to the insanely hot sight before me! They had to remain in this position for something like 12 minutes or so, before Cindy would lift up her face - with her friend's cum smeared all over her jaw!
"Put your dick in, Pastor..." she then requested, almost out of breath!
I just nodded my head like some zombie and began leaning in to penetrate her gazumped friend! And my, if she was some hard shell to crack last time, she was now a tunnel of freshly melted Irish butter! Goddamnit! I didn't want to move after going all in with little effort! It felt like bliss in there, with a mix of Cindy's saliva and Sis. Tosin's juices, creating the best possible vaginal state any dude can dream of! When I began making the 'move', it did look like the sensation would only double! And with how generally taut the girl's pussy was, I knew it was only just a matter of minutes, before I'd spill my seed! She was damn sweet!
"Ahhhhhhh....awwwwnnnnn...." she bleated, as I began gathering more momentum in my thrusts! I was sure she could feel every bit of my size on all sides of her vagina wall! I was being gripped to the fullest, and it only just meant that I'd have to enjoy to the fullest too, what was surely going to be a very brief ride!
Her boobs practically whirled in the air, with both her nipples drawing imaginary circles at every twirl! I had grabbed her waistline with both hands by now, with my own hip coming really hard into her in smashing contact! Every split second thrust, came with a deafening bang, which was only further re-echoed by the near-empty volume of the bedroom accommodating us! Sis. Tosin herself, was also beyond control, and had begun wailing rather loudly, albeit worryingly, despite Cindy's pussy sitting over her face! She was noticeably feeling the impact of my swashbuckling 'fuckery', rather ruthlessly and just had lost every rein in whatsoever! As for me, I knew things were getting out of hand now, with our moans and screams getting louder and louder! But I also couldn't just bring a cap to it all! I was in maddening frenzy now with my hip going back and forth with some ferocity only seen amongst robots! Cindy besides, had also lost every form of restraint, and had now begun saying some very insane things with her head thrown behind, as she kept ridding her friend's face with her dripping pussy! For real, a very explosive joint-orgasm could just be seen not quite far away...
And I do feel Cindy's was yet again the first to come, with her 'madness', going quadruple in intensity! She was more or less 'driving' her friend's juice-covered face like a motorbike by now, with her head swinging from side to side in utter ecstasy! She screamed quite hard as her body began to jump once more in draining orgasm! So much so, that I had to try putting a hand over her mouth, but with little success! I myself, was quite on the brink too; with virtually all the veins in my body looking like they would pop open as I repeatedly smashed my hip without control into Sis. Tosin's pummelled snatch!
"I...am....am....am....going,....to cuuummmm..." Sis. Tosin then suddenly began to scream; rather endlessly; grabbing the bedsheet under her like she had just been possessed! It was some sight to behold, and gaaawwddd, did I take it further up the last gear at this point!!
"Paaaawwww! Paaaawwwwwww!! Paaaawwwwwwwww!!!" slammed my numb crotch as I did everything I could to bring both myself and an endlessly wailing Sis. Tosin, to this well deserved climax! But then, out of nowhere...
We began hearing someone, if not people...knocking rather persistently at our door!
"Pastor Daniel...are you in there?!" a first voice called out loudly; amidst several audible murmurings!
"Pastor Daniel?!..." a second then followed, as soon!...
Boy!! Like toys on batteries, myself, Sis. Tosin and Cindy, quickly sprang up from the thoroughly soaked bed under us, in absolute hysteria! Jisos!!
"Have I just exhausted, this Extravagant Grace?!" I nearly heard myself ask me, while tripping on my lying trouser and falling on the tiled floor in a thud! "Oh my fucking gawwwwdd!!"
***To Be Continued***